The Third Bucket

Our egoic mind is always looking to label or identify what it is perceiving and put it in a category. There are usually only two buckets that our mind considers to place these items.  Most of the time, they are labelled as: Good/Bad, Right/Wrong, Like/Dislike, etc.  They are opposites and you are forced to pick one or the other in a hurry.  Why do we have only two buckets, why can’t we have a Third Bucket?

Once the mind is able to put it in a box quickly, it can then feel comfortable that it is a known quantity and thinks it is familiar with it. Lack of familiarity for the mind is very disconcerting.  So the constant evaluation and screening has a purpose – to pick a bucket to place whatever we are perceiving quickly.  This makes us very judgmental and places us in a mode of resistance to what is happening in front of you.

We also constantly filter words when we listen to someone else.  Our goal is to hear some words and then map it quickly to what we know, feel a sense of comfort and then stop listening, since we assume that we know what the other person intents to say.  How arrogant of us or our egos to believe that? Can you catch yourself doing that?

Consider this proposal.  Create a Third bucket and label it “Just Is”, as opposed to the typical good or bad labels.  This third option or bucket creates an opening for you to suspend the act of constant judging and can lead you to the habit of acceptance of whatever comes into your life.  This does not mean you need to be a door mat to the world.

Developing a habit to suspend automatic knee jerk reactions to events allows you the space for deliberation and creative solutions with unique approaches.  Try to see if you can table instant judgment and practice using the Third Bucket.

Best wishes.

About Krishna Pendyala

Author of "Beyond the PIG and the APE: Realizing SUCCESS and true HAPPINESS". I am a life coach, speaker and workshop leader. My vision is to enhance life on our planet by raising awareness of the ego, in a simple manner. My commitment is to empower men and women make better choices to achieve joy and fulfillment, without protracted struggles or huge personal crises. I believe we can create an enlightened society where inner awareness empowers people to thrive in harmony.
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One Response to The Third Bucket

  1. Joyce Wilde says:

    Ah yes, the education of dualistic thinking … Great to see someone aware of it and putting it into words. Thank you again, Krishna.

    I think it was Rumi who said something to the effect of, “There’s a place beyond rightness and wrongness, I’ll meet you there.” Marshall Rosenberg of the Nonviolent Communication movement teaches about “observation versus evaluation.” Observing from a neutral place comes from such a different energy than evaluation (the judgmental knee jerk). We often do that quick knee jerk reaction to what’s coming out of someone’s mouth, rather than slow down and listen to their heart. When we listen with our heart to their heart, we hear the common need (for safety, respect, love, acceptance, etc.) and the common feeling (anger, fear, disappointment, jealousy, etc.). By doing this we can make a magnificent heart-to-heart connection. The quick judgment seems to happen unless 1.) We are still children who haven’t learned to judge yet – or – 2.) We begin to reeducate ourselves and become aware (and I dare say vigilant in our awareness!).

    Keep the great insightful posts coming!!

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